I know there are a lot of you that remember us in your prayers. Sometimes you probably don’t even know what you are praying for us, but still you pray and I just wanted to take a moment and thank you for your prayers. Even when we are lost in our rebellion and our doubt and our yo-yo, you’ve prayed. Thank you for that.
For anyone who offered an ear, a shoulder, an open heart I thank you. We have been going to Living Word for almost 4 years now and it has been our anchor. The one thing, the one body that stayed steady and true through our struggles to find our place in God’s body. When we first started at LWFC we were just in it to win it. We were so there, so on fire for God, but when the enemy got us figured out and punched just the right buttons we started on our yo-yo. We would go from way into church and way out of the things of the world, then just a little compromise at a time, one beer, one night out, one week we thought we needed the money so we didn’t tithe. Before you know it we were way out and way into the world.
Lucky for us, we have a church family that loves us, prays for us and is always there for us when we come back. So for about 3 years now, it’s been back and forth between church and the world and trying to find the happy middle ground. Turns out there’s really no middle ground. Every time we went out of the church (I don’t like to say that b/c through everything we consider the church our church, our family) but when our attendance dropped in favor of other stuff, when we got back in we found we were more aware, more educated of what we should be doing and every time we got pulled out the consequences were so much worse. Some of you may think nothing is getting through to us, but trust me in this, we hear you, we hear the Word coming forth. It is registering with us – we just had a tendency to get into rebellion and think we had it all figured out.
I’m kinda rambling…. let me see if I can get to the point. Through an awesome family of powerful prayer warriors that love the people in the house of God, and through an amazingly blessed connection to each other, Don and I have been able to discuss our life, our decisions and the consequences that come out of those decisions Because of those open lines of communication, we have recently experienced a pretty powerful breakthrough. We have closed a chapter of our life that we felt we should close. We went back and forth with this thing for the last 3 years. We would put it down and then temptation would come along and we would pick it back up. The grace allowed us to be stronger each time we put it down, to be more aware of the consequences in our life when we were active in it and right after the last men’s retreat, we had a looooonnnnng talk about being in or out, all or nothing, in God or in the world.
We finally KNEW that we were not going to find a way to have both. So we decided to stop everything. We took some drastic steps that we have taken before but never stuck too. We prayed together for strength to resist when temptation came around. We backslid a little about a month ago, but not totally like before. We didn’t undo the steps we had taken to move out of that phase of our life. Then last Sunday when Pastor Dan called the church to the alter for open prayer, I was so convicted of something going on in my life, of being the one holding up our blessing because I wouldn’t let go of this thing I thought I really really wanted. After some deep discussion this week, I told Don what I was being convicted of and we talked and talked and talked and then we got up and had a little bonfire and put our computer’s trash can to good use. (You may not understand this, but it’s important to me to get it out).
We agreed to close the book on this chapter of our lives. I knew sitting by the fireplace (where it took a whole box of those big matches to burn one 70 page spiral notebook – talk about the enemy trying to hold on) that we are done with it. It is broken for us. We are in agreement over it, we prayed over it, we wiped it out of our lives. I have no doubt that it is done. So thank you to anyone who prayed for us even when they had no idea what they were praying for and for those who did know. Your love and prayers and steady faithfulness made a great difference in our lives. I thank God every day for the people he has surrounded us with. What a beautiful blessing this life is.